Today I refused to stay indoors.. I've been in the house all day everyday so far rolling my days by. So today I made sure to at least see outside and maybe walk the mall..since it's right across the street lol.
So going to the mall I went to my favorite place Borders Bookstore. I've been searching for a while now to find a really good book to fall into and get lost in . In the past I read a couple that were sooo good I forgot that I was reading and thought I was actually there witnessing what was going on cause the author would paint a picture with their words. .. and I looove that , I really like metaphorical books like for example (The portrait of Dorian Grey , The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Magic Chalk ) . At times I would read them and listen to music that I felt that was cohesive to what scene I was reading. Weird I know but I did lolol. So I've been searching for that good book but I just don't know what to look for or how to pick it. I'm veerrrry picky when it comes to books . I always used to get yelled at by my mom about reading cause I HATED to read ..but that was only cause I hadn't found my ideal book... and she always compared me to my oldest brother who was and still is a know it all and book worm. My thing when I was younger would be drawing. I would illustrate my thoughts till I found my ideal book , cause in that case my illustrations were my book of self with out words let the colors and drawing speak for itself. When I did find that great book it triggered me into deeper thought. I love paintings as well that are much more than what meets the eye .. You see what is drawn but do you see the message within each detail including the most mi nut ones.
I will admit I was and still am weird (most artists are) it would be considered a bad thing but I think it's a great thing. Cause to be considered weird is being out of the ordinary ..and who needs ordinary ! lol. When people meet other people or listen or read, or even look at something that captures their attention it's most likely something different or at least different to them cause it's not what they are use to . Luring them in .. it can be bad as well.. so there should be boundaries . That's why people such as myself like a mystery within someone . You may not always find someone who has a cool secret about themselves but because you don't know them it is to you . That's the whole fun in getting to know someone cause they may surprise you people are like a painting they as well are more then what meets the eye.
Anyway back to books lol. So I spent so much time looking for a book couldn't find one. So I came across this book ..and it completely caught my attention. I didn't read it or see what it was about I was just oddly content with the image . I kept the image in mind and left the store moving on to another store . I went to my other favorite store Bath and Body Works . Of Course I was in there for a long time lol , I found a new scent that I intend on purchasing and an old scent that I had owned once that was truly therapeutic and sensual as it's called. After my time in there I decide to go home . During my walk home I thought about the book cover and why it drew in my attention and also why do I pick my scents according to my moods and the time of day (like most people) however in my case I'm a little more prestige about it. I came to realize the book makes me feel that I 'm where this photo was probably taken. I put myself in a scene relating to the image . It's night on a roof or balcony overseeing all the city lights and looking at the stars and just allowing my thoughts to run free and while doing that inhaling my surroundings subconsciously taking note for memory. Which ties into why I'm anal about scent because obviously scent is key to memory but for me it's my escape . I use to sit by my window as a little girl playing music to my liking and just take in the air taking note of memory of that time . So I guess like someone who is a collector I collect scents for an imagery escape to my past and perhaps what I desire for my future to smell like . I also do this with color as a kid I always color coordinated my book covers with my subjects not by just random but what color would come to mind when I hear that subject so for example ( social studies was always Blue, reading was always Red, Math would be Orange , and Science Yellow) lolol I sound kooky I know but that's how I think. I feel like everything or at least most things have a color or scent to it . not actual objects but words and emotions. So I now know that's how I choose my books , books that make me feel in touch with my senses by their words and descriptions.
I use to and still do lay on my bed play relaxing music with my windows wide open for breeze and just lay completely still and bask in my own existence and think of what I experienced , what I am striving for , who am I and what makes me ..ME. and at the end of it all I am truly thankful to still be here and to have the opportunity to do what I want without being blinded by worldly things and still be spiritually inclined.
